Distance, Length, and Time

Sounds like a math post, right?  I promise you it's not. It's a long day, not enough caffeine, too much pollen inhaled kind of post. I spent yesterday running errands which can be a dangerous thing. Not because I'm a shopaholic but because it gives me time to sort through things in my head. Dangerous. Things that have been filed away for some time or feelings that I have suppressed just because I didn't want to deal with them at that time. Today I thought about 3 things: distance, length and time.

Distance.  The Google definition for distance is the amount of space between two things or people.  The distance for me is thousands of miles. Thousands of miles I have traveled, thousands of miles to get to my parents, and thousands of miles from my husband.  The last one is what I've been thinking of today.  He is thousands of miles from us right now.  Thousands of miles I will probably never see in my lifetime, thousands of miles he has traveled alone, and thousands of miles he will still have to make to get back to us.

Length. Google defines this in two ways but I pick this one: The measurement or extent of something from end to end.  Months is my chosen unit of length. I think it's about 30 months. I tried to count it all up in my head and this was as close as I could get. 30 months that we have been apart in the last 6 years. That's almost half the amount of time. That's a long time.  A really long time.

Time.  Defined by google as the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present and future regarded as a whole. The indefinite continued progress, yep that's it. Time never stops and events keep happening  no matter who is around to see them. The worst of it is that you will never get that time back. Sure, there are pictures and memories to be shared but because of the distance and length, it is time not shared together.  I can recount all my memories to him but they are not a shared memory just as his travels, adventures and people he has met are not shared. This is something that no deployment briefing can prepare you for. It can bring about jealousy, anger, and resentment if you let it.

Our time is decreasing everyday. The months go by and soon the distance will not be so far between us. I look forward to those days with so much joy and happiness but for now I will file it away until that day when I can say "Welcome home."

Picture taken last year on Veteran's Day while he was deployed.